Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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