the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
