I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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