THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
