I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
