I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
he just fucked me for my cheese..
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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