you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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