it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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