i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
