i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Randomize