Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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