I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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