Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
