Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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