I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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