ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
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