ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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