My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
