well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
