Barsexuality is the new black.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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