She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
