let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Randomize
