my phone cant type all the emotion im having
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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