I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
