I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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