the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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