God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
