Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
