Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Randomize
