Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
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