just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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