We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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