You're so nebulous sometimes
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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