He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
