thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
