That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
