There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Randomize