the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
