how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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