Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize