Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
