I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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