I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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