So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
