I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
