this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize