The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
