she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
