did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Randomize
