Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I supernannyed him into submission
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
