Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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