Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
