And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
