would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
