Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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