Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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