Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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