the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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