I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I see more hoeing in ur future
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
