you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
