She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Operation Purity has been aborted
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
