Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I faked an abortion last night.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize