She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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