brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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