i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize