Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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