I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
