dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
