I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
