Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
