Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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