This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
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