Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Randomize
