I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
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