angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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