Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I look excited, but its just a facade.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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