ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
