Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
