Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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