i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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