She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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